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Written by Simon Helps
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Saturday, 12 January 2008 |
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USEFUL EXPRESSIONS FOR HIGH STRESS DAYS
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You!
Off my planet!!
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Not
the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
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Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
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Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
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I'm
not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
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Allow me to introduce my selves.
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Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
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Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
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Do they ever shut up on your planet?
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I'm just working here till a good
fast-food job opens up.
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I'm trying to imagine you with a
personality.
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Stress is when you wake up screaming and
you realise you haven't fallen sleep yet.
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I can't remember if I'm the good twin or
the evil one.
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How many times do I have to flush before
you go away.
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I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
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Can I trade this job for what's behind
door #2?
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Chaos, panic & disorder - my work here
is done.
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Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for
my friends deep inside the earth.
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Earth is full. Go home.
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Is it time for your medication or mine?
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Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty
ego?
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How do I set a laser printer to stun?
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I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly
alert.
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When I want your opinion, I'll give it to
you.
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